Locked up like Fort Knox

Let me start by saying we are SO thankful for the Kunming Social Welfare Institute (SWI) for caring for our daughter for the past 11 mos. That said, it is like Fort Knox over there when it comes to information.

We have a friend, Carol Oakes, who is in Kunming this week to pick up her son, Samuel. On her tour of the orphanage, she took a photo of Emma (and two other waiting children) to inquire about them.

Here is a recap of the visit:

• Carol said that almost all of the babies there were < 6 mos of age. 
• She said that there are 150 children in the SWI.
• She said that there are 550 children in the foster villages (program attached to the SWI).
• She said that ~150 children get adopted each year out of both foster village and the SWI. Note - this is about 20% of all of the available kids.  The remainder of the kids may be eligible the next year or may, eventually, "age out" of the system at 14 when they are deemed un-adoptable. So sad.

The bad news --

Unfortunately, Carol was not able to get ANY information for any of the waiting children she was looking into. She was not able to get an update at all about Emma, not even to confirm / deny if she was physically at the SWI.

The good news -

When Carol walked around the SWI, she said her guide made sure she could visibly look at as many of the babies as possible in the hopes of recognition.  She did not see any of the waiting children she was looking for.  Also, the above picture was taken by Carol. So she was able to tour the orphanage and confirm the set up that we had seen in previous pictures.  It is super clean!

In fact, Carol, like so many others, said that the orphanage was strangely sterile, quiet, and efficient.  Here is a snippet from a friend who has been to the SWI.  Again, I am so thankful to the Kunming SWI for caring for Emma. But I also want to share with others what we know about the SWI so they understand WHY we have no information about Emma while we finalize this process and what Emma has been through when she comes home.

"Kunming SWI (Social Welfare Institute) is one of the great mysterious orphanages in the Chinese system (of well over 1000 orphanages).  It is known to be spotlessly clean and efficiently run.  A foreign organization, the Sunrise Education Foundation runs the baby room there and most children by one year of age are placed outside the orphanage into foster care. Older children that have severe medical needs remain in the orphanage past the first year of their lives.  I've heard mixed reports from families that have been there.  Some say that there is a sadness to the orphanage, perhaps because of those who are left behind and perhaps because efficiency seems to dominate over nuturing care for the older children.  Others feel the children are warmly cared for.  Just one of the many conflicting reports about this highly thought of, inaccessible orphanage.  The Director is absolutely famous in the adoption world for her unwillingness to communicate with waiting families.  Her reply to any request for updates or pictures seems to be a strong no, with rare exception.  

In contrast Kunming's active fostercare program which located in Anning county, about 1 hour directly to the west of the city is highly thought of in nearly every way, a model program. There are several villages that house children from the orphanage with foster families. There are 550 children living in Anning who are part of the orphanage system.  The thought is that foster care helps the children experience family life and makes the transition to their forever families easier.  They live in families with 2-3 other children from the SWI and are returned to the orphanage a week prior to adoption day."

I will be honest -- it is super frustrating to see other adoptive parents get updates on their children. They send care packages, birthday cakes, get pictures, etc. We realize now we will most likely never get a picture of Emma until the day we pick her up. Carol said she had a picture of Samuel when he was 4 mos old. No other pictures were ever provided.  Samuel was 18 mos at pickup time. She said she wasn't sure if she would recognize him. :-(  

All of this (whining) said, I need to put this silliness aside and focus on Emma. She is the one who has been through more than anything I can ever imagine. 

She was the one who was left when she was one day old. One. Day. Old.  It breaks my heart to think of a mother having to make that decision.

She was the one who was left at 4 pounds on a doorstep somewhere, in the hopes that the government could care for her better than her biological parents.  

She is the one that is a survivor. She has been through more in her first year of life than I will ever go through in my adult life. If I don't get a picture, or an update, or a measurement until the day we meet, that is fine with me.  God has given be this opportunity to parent Emma and for that I am grateful.

~Christy

PS - THANK YOU ALL for the prayers for Elisyn.  She has had a HUGE first week of being home.  Her mother, Jamie, is regularly updating their blog, feel free to follow along.   http://www.hopeforelisyn.com/

PPS - no.... I have no update on our LOA. We are at day 30 now (with the wait normally being 30-90 days).  Recently, some individuals have been waiting as long as 4 months for their LOA. So we are just going to have to suck it up and hope that we get it in < 90 days.  For those of you following my blog that are waiting > 90 days, here is a shout out (note - this is not my picture but is a fellow bloggers' daughter and the paper was photoshoped in!!)!!

Adoption Connections...what's in a surname?!

What a small world it is!  In the past week, I have been connected with two other adoptive mothers whose kiddos are from the same city as Emma.  In fact, all 3 children were found in the same district of Kunming and, therefore, have the same orphanage given surname (for those of you vocabulary challenged, surname is the same as last name!).


The first family I met, the Oakes Family, is leaving in 3 days to pick up their two waiting children from China, Benjamin and Samuel. They are also bringing their 6 other children with them on the journey (the youngest of which is 2.5 years old)!!  Samuel is just over 2 waiting in Tianjin &  Benjamin is ~ 18 mos old and is waiting in Kunming. Carol is obviously a busy busy woman but is going to try to visit the orphanage AND has agreed to bring Emma's picture and inquire about her!! Either way, this is a win for us. If Carol inquires about Emma and is unable to see Emma b/c she is in foster care, that is really good news for us b/c it means Emma is with a loving family.  That said, if Emma is at the orphanage still, we would be so blessed because Carol could actually hold her and tell her how much we love her!  That is about the best thing a mama could hope for. Anyway, if you are interested, you can follow Carol when she travels here - http://www.thegreatesttreasuresjournal.blogspot.com/.


My second connection is actually a fellow Michigander...Deitra went to Adrian college with my good friend Lana and we recently connected over email. Funny enough, her waiting son, Hayden, is also in Kunming AND was found in the same area as Emma with the same surname!  Deitra will be traveling with her mother later this fall (sometime before us but after Carol) to pick up her son.  He is adorable, check him out here -- http://anxiouslyawaitinghayden.blogspot.com/.


Finally, if you are interested in a good cry (who isn't, right?), here is a recent article I was forwarded.  If this doesn't make you bawl your eyes out like a baby, you must have a heart made of coal. Seriously. Keep it to yourself if you don't cry. It won't do you any good to share that information. 


Lost & Found - http://www.slate.com/id/2301514

Kunming Social Welfare Institute & What's Next?!

Since posting pictures of our care package, I have gotten a few requests on making a donation to Emma's orphanage. There are two things I would suggest: 1)  Spread the word about adoption. There are TONS of ppl in the US that I think would have the heart to adopt, if they only had a nudge to really look into it. 2) If you able to donate financially, I suggest Love Without Boundaries. You can sponsor a child for surgery, for foster care,etc.  Sponsors receive updates and photos on their sponsored children and get to see firsthand the difference they are making.  What a great way to teach your kids some perspective on the world as well when they are asking for that new toy!

http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/sponsor-child/

Also, if you are interested, I was able to get my hands on some pictures of both Emma's orphanage & the foster village.  If you are interested in seeing where she may be living, check out the links here:

Orhpanage - Kunming Social Welfare Institute

Foster Village - Anning, China

What's Next for us? Well, you may need a PhD to follow but here it is...

1. LOA -this is where we are now. Our dossier (i.e. 100 pages of paperwork) will all be translated to Mandarin and reviewed to ensure compliance with the guidelines. This step can take anywhere from 30-100 days. Our Pre Approval should have only taken about a week but instead it took 32 days, we don't know if that put us way behind or if any progress was made during that time. 
2. I800 Immigration approval -  we have previously submitted paperwork to the US to be approved to adopt from China. The I800 paperwork allows us to adopt Emma specifically. The US Gov't requires the LOA to submitted with the I800 paperwork.  This step can take anywhere from 2-4 weeks.
3. NVC Cable- Once we have our I-800 approval, our officer will forward the approval to the National Visa Center (NVC). NVC will upload our approval into their system and cable (send) our approval the US consulate in China. Then the NVC will issue a letter stating they have done this. It takes about one week to be cabled, and another week to receive the letter.
4. Article 5 - Once we receive the NVC letter, we will send it to our agency. The agency will deliver this letter to the US consulate in China.  Once the consulate has your NVC letter, they will issue your Article 5 in 2-3 weeks. The article 5 is the consulate pre-approving your child for an immigrant visa. 
5. Travel Approval - Once the CCWAA receives the article 5, the Travel Approval will then be issued. This takes around 2-4 weeks. 
6. We would actually get on a plane 2-4 weeks after receiving Travel Approval.  So, essentially, we get 2-4 weeks notice to book flights, hotels, leave work, etc. :-)

I have run the dates a few times. Of all of the above steps, #1 is obviously the most volatile.  The rest of the steps are pretty stable in terms of estimates.  In order to get Emma home by EOY, I think we would need to receive our LOA by 9/15.  That would by 45 days after PA but about 70 days after our Letter of Intent got there. 

If you followed all of this, you are amazing!! :-)

Care Package is on it's way!

Now that we have our pre-approval we are allowed to send Emma a care package with goodies! We finally got everything I wanted today for the package. Here is a picture of everything in neat little baggies!

Items for orphanage staff / foster family from Cherry Republic - Dried Cherries, Cherry Jam & Crackers, & Chocolate Covered Cherries.  My girlfriend's father who has been to China several times suggested the cherries. My girlfriend quickly agreed and actually said when she was in China she met an insane number of people named "cherry" (that was their chosen American name). Anyway, since cherries are a local item to Northern Michigan, we decided to go with it! :-)

Items for Emma -

• We made her a little book of flashcards (laminated pictures) of our family. The project was a bit more labor intensive than I had anticipated. Frankly, my non Martha Stewart ways showed their colors today to my hubby. I also used babblefish to translate the words on the flashcards to Mandarian so it may or may not be accurate.  All in all, the project ended up being a little ghetto to be honest (I was using packaging tape instead of double sided tape and I went a little crazy with the scissors when "trimming" the laminate). Oh Well, it is definitely creative!! Check out the crazy flashcards here...
• We also are sending her a little pink outfit with a hat, a super soft small monkey blanket from a local boutique baby store, & colored pictures from her cousins, Jayden and Devin. The picture from Jayden is awesome - it is  map with a compass, a drawing of china, an airplane and him waving to her as she is coming home. ADORABLE!  The dress is actually one that Lexie wore but you can hardly tell.  Emma is still under 17 pounds so we needed something 3-6 mos and it was the best thing we had from Lexie's box! 

Cameras! - I went a little camera crazy. I got two disposables and a digital camera (5 MB brand new for 29.99 - you can't beat it!!).  This is the key to the entire package, we REALLY want the orphanage staff to like the gifts we sent them (aka the cherries) so that they will take pictures of Emma for us. These pictures are priceless -- the only real documentation we will have to share with Emma on her first year of life.  Unfortunately, I have heard Emma's orphanage doesn't take a lot of pictures and often doesn't actually even send the camera's to the foster families (they are very protective not to allow the adoptive parents to reach out to the foster family or vice versa). I have heard people get the camera's back with pictures of the orphanage itself, but not a lot of the child.  So its a slim shot but I had to try.

Items for orphanage - just a few item of donation for the orphanage.  Baby Clothes, Crayons, Glue Sticks, etc.

$43, a stop at USPS, & it should be in Beijing in 6-10 days (the package actually has to go through our agency before going to the orphanage). It will then be in Kunming about a week after that! Luckily, we crammed everything all into one of those neat medium flat rate boxes.  However, the 10 mins of rearranging things and convincing Matt that it WILL fit in the damn box is not something I really want to remember. It is alright though - we will be sure to tell Emma that we were loving placing each of her special items in the box safely (and not swearing at each other about how to make it all fit).

A lot of you have been asking about "what comes next". I am too tired right now to do that process justice but I will reserve a future post for the explanation.  Suffice it to say, we would LOVE to have our baby home by Christmas (its looking pretty slim right now though that will happen). So we could use all of your prayers that our paperwork falls to the top of someone's pile in Beijing. Pray that tomorrow morning a CCCWA employee gets a yummy iced coffee on a hot August morning on his way to work and that all the caffeine leads him to be ultra productive and that he processes a ton of Letter of Approvals that day (including ours!). :-)

PA -- After 32 long days!!

We got our Pre-Approval today, after 32 long days!!  This means the Peoples Republic of China has officially given of pre-approval to adopt Emma.    We also are allowed to share pictures now -- here she, ADORABLE!!

The next steps is our Letter of Approval from China (a 30-100 day wait). Prior to travel, the LOA is the last approval we will recieve from China.  Obviously 30-100 days is a huge variance in wait time but we know now that China has reviewed our dossier and translated part of it so hopefully some of the hard stuff is done. 

On another exciting note -- I was in MN this weekend visitng my sister and I picked up some adorable crib bedding at a garage sale. For $14, Emma now has starfish, crabs, and seahorse pottery barn kids bedding, lamp, and wall decorations. :-)  Matt even agreed to paint the room a sand color and do some wainscotting (I am a freak for wainscotting).

Also, while in MN I was able to meet a fellow adoption blogger for an "adult only" coffee on Saturday morning. I love Mary and am so excited for her family to bring home Gracie -- you can follow their blog here!

Yea for Pre-Approval and thank you to Living Hope (our agency) for putting up with our regular phone calls checking in our status!! I promise not to call again to check on my status for at least 60 days. :-)

The Waiting...Empty Strollers....Both Ends Burning

We are still awaiting news of our Preliminary Approval (PA) from China.  We are waiting much longer than the "usual" but we hope that is b/c they are taking their time with our PA that the next approval from China (Letter of Approval - LOA) will go a bit faster. Then on to the "US wait".

On the topic of waiting...

I have a friend online who is going to DC in late August for the "Empty Stroller" march on Washington. Families are marching for their waiting children that are sitting in orphanages around the world. The march is being organized by the Both Ends Burning Campaign, a global movement to transform the broken system of international adoption. During the march, protesters will be pushing empty strollers wrapped in red tape to represent the bureaucracy that prevents children from being with families.

For more information, see two videos below...the first provides a horrific impact of the broken process in Vietnam.  The second provides an overview of Both Ends Burning Campaign and their objective.

And if you need another reason why --

Emma will sit in either foster care or orphanage care for months longer than is necessary b/c of the delays during the process (on both the US & China side). While the process is required to keep adoptions "legit" by the Hague convention (the international body that governs adoptions), the time delay to complete each step due to staffing levels, lack of automation, etc is something that is frustrating beyond belief. I truly believe that if the people that process this paperwork and/or make these decisions had to look at these children's faces, the process would be radically different. 

As an example of the process... our I-800A took less than 2 hours to be approved once an agent was "assigned" to the file but it sat "in queue" for 49 days prior to being assigned.  It also cost us $1,000 to USCIS to be processed.  For <2 hours of work. While we didn't have a child referred to us yet, many other families do! Their children sit in orphanages for months longer than necessary.  


Many ppl point to the adoption credit as a step in the right direction for the US.  While the US gov't has done miracles for the adoption community with the most recent tax credit (it will rebate families ~40% of the costs of the adoption), it doesn't fix the underlying problem of WHY it takes so long for adoptions to be processed (and why its so expensive). I can't help it, I have done tons of business cases at work before and the process of international adoption is ripe for opportunity.

Anyway, for those of you interested, please sign their petition here!