Every home is made differently...

I have gotten so many questions lately, why are you adopting internationally? Why not just have biological children (apparently I have proven it is possible)? Or, I often hear, why not just adopt domestically - isn't it cheaper?

All valid questions coming for wondering minds....let me help explain.

The majority of young children who are needing homes internationally are living in cribs for 22-23 hours a day in impoverished orphanages with minimal food and staff. It is not uncommon for them to starve or freeze to death, to be underfed intentionally because they have physical deformities.

To give you more of a landscape....I have heard of families adopting a child with a Cleft Lip or Cleft Palate being spit on. Literally, people looked at them and smiled, then looked at their child with the cleft lip and gasped at the horror. Then a few gutsy individuals actually spit on the child or the couple.

Can you imagine?

Why are we adopting internationally?  This is why.

Every child deserves a home (assume we all agree here).

Yet every home is made differently.

• Some homes are made for biological children only. 

• Some homes are made for children with special needs.

• Some homes are made for toddlers.

• Some homes are made for older children.

• Some homes are made for foster children.

Our home, with 3 kids under 5, is currently made for toddlers. We have excellent jobs and can afford to adopt (so long we drive used cars!). We have excellent medical care and have consistently hit our out of pocket maximum for the last 3 years so we assume it won't cost us a dollar more next year for Luke's surgeries. Finally, we know we can love a child born in our hearts, not in my womb.  

If I take all of the above facts and put them in the 'what type of home is this' calculator we get:

Lillie Home =  'perfect for international special needs adoption'

Let me turn the question around..for those of you having biological children, why do you keep doing it? Why not adopt?  I have heard countless people say having a child biologically wrecks your body and that 'they are too old' to do it again but would love a 3rd or 4th child.  Why NOT consider adoption then?

Moreover, you have NO idea what you are missing out on.  To experience the love grow within yourself for a child that you did not birth is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I can only compare it to the day my biological child was born but stretched out over the course of time.  I actually have started feeling bad that others that I love won't get to experience such a positive life experience.

I can promise you that at the end of your life you will not say 'oh i wish i would have bought that new car instead of a used one'. But I cannot promise you that you won't say 'Oh, I wish we would've had a third child'.  I can't promise you won't say, 'Why didn't I do more with my life?'

Come to our FAQ night to learn more. We can tell you how to adopt domestically for free (literally not one dollar) or how to adopt internationally without ANY debt.  Or, maybe you decide adoption is not for you.  At least you have scratched the itch and can move on with your life.  

Check it out & contact me with questions.

2|42 Community Church

410 S. Maple Rd. 

Ann Arbor, MI 48103

(Behind Kroger)

China in December {cabled}

So we are moving right along with our adoption for Lingao. We were informed this week that our paperwork has made it to the US consulate (i.e. we are officially cabled).  We have a few steps left and then we can start booking our flights!

We have been asked a lot about what the trip will include...here is a brief overview!!

• Arrive in Hong Kong (2 days) - relax and get over jet lag
• Kunming, Yunnan (4-6 days) - Visit Kunming's Social Welfare Institute (hopefully to meet with the new director), meet with Emma's 'finder', and visit the foster village where Emma was likely fostered.  
• Nanchang, Jiangxi (4-6 days) - Meet Lingao, Visit his finding spot, visit the Fuzhou Social Welfare Institute (note - this is an hour or two drive from Nanchang), and visit with his foster family, if possible. 
• Guangzhou, Guangdong (3-4 days) - Lingao has a medical appointment to ensure he is healthy/clear to travel to the US, and then he has an appointment at the US consulate to become a US citizen (which will occur the day he lands in the US).
• Drive from Guangzhou to Hong Kong to fly home!

That is the itinerary!! 

We are currently looking for a guide for the non 'lingao' part of the trip. This will include the trip to Kunming, if not the entire thing. Please let me know if anyone has any leads!! Must be bi-lingual, love little kids (we have 3 of them!), and comfortable with the adoption process. We will pay for time, travel, air/hotel, etc.

We will be traveling in December at some point.  We really have some flexibility so it may come down to costs, timing of when we can do it, and when can get a guide to facilitate the trip to Kunming with us. Happy planning to me!! ;-)

~Christy

I800 Approval! {Lingao is now an immediate relative of ours!!}

We finally have I-800 approval!  That means the US Gov't has formally listed Lingao as an immediate relative to our family. He is a Lillie!!

Our next steps:

• We need to get a copy of the I-800 approval to the US embassy in China who will schedule an appointment in China to allow Lingao to come home with us.  
• Once we have the Embassy appointment, we will send that date to the Chinese Gov't who will schedule our 'gotcha day' for Lingao.  
• Once we have the gotcha date, we will schedule our flights to China!

In 2011 we received our I800 approval on 11/7 and picked up Emma on 1/8...~2 months later. So this go around we think we could get Lingao as early as the first week in December.  Meaning perhaps he will be home for Christmas (or we will be there)!

For those of you following our earlier timeline, I did have a bit of a mess up that caused a delay. I actually forgot to send a check with my application to the US gov't.  Apparently my 'crisp execution' and attention to detail have gone by the wayside.  I guess 3 - well almost 4 - kids does that to you. ;-)  In any case, I have no other tasks to complete so hopefully everything from here on out is smooth sailing!!

New pictures of Luke {an update from across the world!}

We got an update on Luke from his foster family!! Happy Happy Monday!!

Look at those big eyes!!

Look at that smile!!

18 month update!

Height - 31.5 inches (25th percentile) - moving into 24 m clothes!!
Weight - 22.5 lbs (10th percentile)
Shoe size - 13 cm - US sz 5.5

Note - we thought we were 'twinning' Luke with Jake b/c they are only 12 mos apart but, apparently, he and Emma are going to be the ones that look like twins for the first year or two! She is currently in size 6 shoes and weighs 24 pounds, LOL.

Physical status
His general healthy status is good.

Mental Status
His mental development is normal compare with other children on his age.

Motors
His motor skills development is good. He can walk and run freely.

Language
His language development is a bit delayed. He babbles a lot, but can not say words. Not surprising given he does not have tubes in his ears, may have temporary hearing loss, and has a cleft lip & palate!

Adaptability
He is living in foster family. The family has 2 biological children.
He is obedient to his foster parents. Yea says mommy!!

Mealtime and diet hobby
He has noodle at 7:00, has conjee and milk at 12:00, has milk at 16:00, has rice or conjee at 18:00, and has milk at 21:00. He has good appetite. He likes milk, fruits and yogurt.

Defecation and urination
He is using diaper only at night.  - HOLY COW!! Potty Trained already!?  God IS good! ;-)

Sleeping
Getting up at 06:00, going to bed at 21:00, taking a nap at 14:00-16:00. He has stable sleep.  Good news, we hope this continues after we take him away from the only family he has never known and traumatize him.  Poor guy.

Social Ability
He can understand adult’s orders and follow them well. He gets on well with other children. Yea!

Personality, Life habit, interests
He is outgoing and active. He likes outdoor activities. - Yea says Emma and Lexie (and the neighborhood girls who have all made pictures for him and are waiting for him to come home and play outside with them!).

Favorite toys and activities
He likes play water. Yea says Pat Lilley!
He favorite thing is his toy cars.  Yea says Dennis and Matt Lillie!!

No onto my private investigator mode...what do we see that wasn't said...

-If you notice the pictures are taken at a public park in a city. This means we are guessing he is living with a family in Fuzhou.  We know his favorite toy was his foster mamas cell phone so we kinda guessed that but this reinforced that to us. ;-)

-His foster family also has two biological children. This makes me think they got an exception from the 'one child policy' by either 1) purchasing an exception or 2) perhaps are a minority?  Any Adoptive Parents know of any other way?

-Can anyone tell what the necklace is around his neck? Is it a Buddha on a red thread?  Clearly his foster family loves him, right?!

-Finally, we love he is not all bundled up!  The pictures were probably taken in August (when it was hot there!) but, still, we didn't see any child in China wearing this little clothes while we were there - except for American children, LOL.

Looking at him more, we still see that something special in his eyes. That thing that made both of us know he was our son. Do you see it?!  We are just in love!!

Passports!

We went to USPS to get passports for Emma and Jake today.  We needed a ton of paperwork.  Emma still does not have a US Birth Certificate so I brought a bunch of stuff from China, just in case.  Jake also didn't have his official birth certificate (somehow I only had the hospital one). So I brought a ton of stuff for him too (very odd but the baptismal certificate was something we could use to prove we were his parents!). As usual, it was kinda a crazy trip (that involved a McDonalds stop) but I wouldn't expect anything less from hubby and me!

Passports should be here in 3 weeks.  Which is just in time for us to then send them to China to get our Chinese Visas. We need 5 visas because we are ALL planning on going to China (well, there will be 6 of us on the way home). We are hoping to stop in Kunming, the beautiful city in which Emma was born, and visit her finding spot, foster village, etc. We feel like the more we can understand about Emma's beginnings now, the better.  It is going to cost us an arm and a leg (pulled from our savings); however, as a friend pointed out - this is an emergency for Luke. He needs to come home, needs a family, and needs a few surgeries.  And frankly, I think Emma will say her knowing her biological history is worthy of a lot of cash too. ;-)

In other news...we also received an update from the US gov't. They have finally approved my adoption extension (see earlier post here on that topic). Meaning, we are now on target for November or December travel. Crazy fast but we are rolling with it!!  We are pretty excited about the idea of having Luke home for the holidays!

Here are a few pictures from today!

Emma's Passport Picture, cute right?!

Jakes Passport Photo - we love his exposed chest. Manly, right?! ;-)

This guy rocked - we had a bunch of random paperwork and he figured it all out

Large Package going to China!

We got the last item for Luke's care package completed today and we are shipping it off on Tuesday!  We ended up sending a clothing donation for the orphanage as well as a little package of items for Luke.

Orphanage Donation:

• 15 - pink/purple shirts, 2-5T
• 10 - pairs of jeans, 2-5t
• 10 - Black doggy shirts, 2-5T (these dogs looked identical to my sisters dog Scout, it was uncanny!)
• 3 soft carters outfits, 3-9 mos
• 3 gingham orange button down shirts, size 10-14

Care Package for Luke:

• Tie Blanket (made by me and a neighbor girl!)
• Michigan hooded long sleve shirt
• Photo Book with pictures of our family (you can see the book here!).
• Toy Cell Phone
• Toy Camera (that actually takes pictures and has video)
• Disposable Camera

Our hope is that when we pick him up he has a lovie with him. It broke our heart that Emma had nothing with her when she came to us and it took her forever to really learn to cuddle with anything. We hope Luke is able to have the consistency of 1 thing in his life - whether that is the lovie I send or a lovie they give him!

On the paperwork front - our i800 was submitted last week!  That means we are officially 7 weeks ahead of where we were in the calendar year with Emma. We traveled on January 5th with Emma so it is entirely possible that we could travel in December. That said, we still need our supplement 3 to be approved and our I-800 to be approved. Our officer seems to be extremely picky so we will see!!

Praying for Luke and all the kids in the SWI this evening. We are coming for you soon buddy!!

PS if anyone wants to send a donation to Luke's orphanage, you certainly can but it may not the best use of direct funds. We just sent it because we knew we were sending the care package to Luke so threw in some items as well.  ;-) Instead of donating to the orphanage, I would suggest sponsoring a child with Love without Boundaries.  

http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/sponsor-child/

It is the best use of the funds and give children a chance to have surgeries that then make them 'adoptable' (i.e. a heart echo to prove to adoptive parents that a child's heart condition is operable can make a child suddenly become very 'adoptable'.).  We LOVE Love Without boundaries and it breaks my heart to see so many kids sitting on their sponsorship list!  

Here is the address for the SWI donations as well!

Social Welfare Institute of Fuzhou City

NO.1688 Wenchang Road 

Fuzhou City, Jiangxi Province,China

Post code: 344000